Tonight on SNL, Weekend Update’s anchors Colin Jost and Michael Che dedicated most of their time to the Supreme Court draft opinion leaked earlier this week, which indicated that the justices may soon overturn Roe v. Wade.
“Well, guys, tomorrow is Mother’s Day, whether you want it to be one or not,” Jost joked up top, noting that the leak was “unprecedented” and could cause “lasting damage” to the Supreme Court.
“So, the court is usually careful, but they slipped up just this once, and now they’ve got to live with it forever,” he deadpanned. “Wow, sounds really unfair.”
Jost then said that the Supreme Court opinion was written by Justice Samuel Alito, who based his arguments on laws from the 1600s. “So, it’s an outdated opinion from an angry 70-year-old?” he asked. “This shouldn’t be a Supreme Court decision; it should just be a Facebook post.”
Jost went on to note that the opinion also seemed to have been written in a “weird, conservative” bubble. “Here’s how you know—he quotes his own colleague, Brett Kavanaugh, six times, one for each beer in the pack,” Jost said. “He even cites Kavanaugh on civil rights, which is like citing Amber Heard on how to make a bed.” (As he said that punchline, we cut to a newspaper article reading, “Guard Alleges Heard Admitted to Pooping In Depp’s Bed.”)
“Chief Justice John Roberts said that the leak was ‘the work of one bad apple,’” continued Jost, who then pulled up a painting of Eve in the Garden of Eden while joking that “‘One bad apple’ is also another legal argument used in Alito’s opinion.”
Che then took over the conversation, noting that as a man, there’s no way he can understand the full impact of Roe v. Wade being overturned. “But I actually asked a bunch of women around the office what their personal experience was with abortion and I’ve got to admit,” he said, “I learned a lot from the HR meeting they made me go to as a result.”
What Che does know is that the ruling will have a “disproportionate effect” on poor people. “I mean, most Americans don’t have access to the same resources that I do,” he said. “The average person can’t just text Lorne [Michaels] in the middle of the night and say, ‘Yo, it happened again.’”
Che also isn’t sure why Republicans are “so against” abortion. “I mean, maybe don’t think of it as an abortion,” he joked. “Think of it as a patriot storming the uterus to overturn the results of an unfair pregnancy.”
Later on Update, Che and Jost invited conservative Supreme Court Justice Amy Coney Barrett (Kate McKinnon) to the desk to get her thoughts on the court’s opinion. When Jost suggested that she seemed happy about it, she said, “I don’t know what would make you think that, other than everything I’ve ever said.”
Benedict Cumberbatch hosted SNL tonight in his second appearance, with Arcade Fire returning as musical guest. Clips from the latest edition of Update can be found above and below.